Strawberry Pistachio Cream Cheese Petit Fours

Hi my name is Consuelo and I know no middle ground.

Super functional adult who cooks nothing but the fanciest things some days (I mean, how cool do petit fours sound, right?), human slob who hasn’t worn nothing but pyjamas and eaten nothing but cereal bowls and toast for five straight days.

Moderation, what’s that.

strawberry cream cheese pistachio petit fours (vegan)

I gotta admit that, I’m in the middle of a human-garbage-can phase right now: hair’s so dirty you could fry an egg on it (SORRY I’m disgusting I know I know), I haven’t worn proper pants in three days now (yoga pants all the way, am I right ladies) and food for the past couple of days has been toast + toast + toast + a bit of stale-ish granola I found in the bottom of a cupboard. I’m still alive and (fairly) well, so I’m guessing it hadn’t gone all bad yet. I guess.

I’ve got not much to say about these cute petit fours except for the fact that they’re absolutely delicious, so let me tell you about my inner monster or nemesis or whatever you’re supposed to call this other you: human-garbage-can Consuelo.

strawberry cream cheese pistachio petit fours (vegan)

Human-garbage-can Consuelo is a bit (read: a lot) of an unproductive slob as well. She’s been sitting in front of a desk trying to revise for her upcoming chem analysis exam for probably seven hours straight now… but it should be noted that human-garbage-can Consuelo bears a resemblance to Jon Snow.

Not only is her hair dirty af, she also knows nothing.

Literally nothing.

Human-garbage-can Consuelo might as well have spent the past seven hour taking naps, because revision-wise, the results would have been the same. Why can’t HGC Consuelo do a productive thing for once and get dressed to head to the library in order to revise with her HGC friends, who are at least, making at attempt at being a decent part of society? I don’t know.

strawberry cream cheese pistachio petit fours (vegan)

I wish NAHGC Consuelo (aka not-a-human-garbage-can Consuelo) made a comeback and did all the fancy things she usually does, such as laundry, putting on pants, properly revise AND make fancy-schmancy desserts like this. 

Holy moly, can I tell you guys about these? First of all, they have the most adorable name ever. Like, add the word “petit” to anything and I’ll instantly fall in love with it. Unless it’s pants we’re talking about, because I’m 5′ 10” and those wouldn’t fit me lol.

Petit puppies, petit fours, petit animals of all kinds… those I do like. Especially when they’re flavoured like vanilla and stuffed with a cream cheeze filling.


Not the puppies. Ugh. How bizarre does that sound?

strawberry cream cheese pistachio petit fours (vegan)

One layer of fluffy vanilla cake + one layer of whipped cream cheese filling + another layer of vanilla cake + lots of fresh strawberries + a drizzle of extra dark chocolate + chopped pistachios.

This is such a great combo!!! Plus, although fancy-sounding (just like every other French dessert, lol), they’re quite easy to make, and also a really customisable one. I went for strawberries since they’re in season right now, which means ripe juice fruit at a phenomenal price; though I’m guessing you could use other kind of berries or even peaches or apricots when they’re bake in season.

strawberry cream cheese pistachio petit fours (vegan)

So many possibilities and I need to try every single one of them! So excuse me while I go summon NAHGC Consuelo so she can get her productive butt in the kitchen and whip up some magic. Because the most extraordinary thing human-garbage-can Consuelo has done this weekend was putting a slice of tomato on top of a rice cake.

Fascinating, I know.

Strawberry Pistachio Cream Cheese Petit Fours

Strawberry Pistachio Cream Cheese Petit Fours


  • 240 grams all purpose flour, sifted
  • 220 grams white sugar
  • 8 grams baking powder
  • 3 faux eggs (see notes)
  • 60 grams soy milk
  • 90 grams coconut oil
  • 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
  • a pinch of salt
  • -
  • 200 grams coconut cream
  • 250 grams dairy free cream cheese
  • 120-150 grams powdered sugar
  • zest from half a lemon (optional)
  • -
  • 150 grams dark chocolate (100 + 50)
  • 300 grams strawberries
  • a handful of pistachios


  2. Preheat oven to 180ºC (375F)
  3. Melt coconut oil.
  4. Prepare faux eggs according to directions on the package.
  5. Whisk together flour and baking powder and sift the mixture.
  6. In another bowl, mix together fauz eggs, vanilla, coconut oil, milk, salt and sugar.
  7. Incorporate dry ingredients and stir until smooth.
  8. Line a medium-sized baking pan with parchment paper and pour all the batter inside.
  9. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until you insert a toothpick in the center of the cake and it comes out clean.
  10. Let cake cool completely before cutting in half.
  11. -
  13. Whip together coconut cream and cream cheese.
  14. Add in sugar and lemon zest if using and whisk until smooth.
  15. -
  17. Cut the cake in half using a professional cake cutter.
  18. Melt 100 grams of chocolate and paint the top of one of the layers with it.
  19. Top that same layer with cream.
  20. Top with the other layer of cake.
  21. Spread the rest of the cream on top.
  22. Cut strawberries and place them on top of the cake.
  23. Sprinkle with pistachios.
  24. Melt the remaining chocolate and drizzle it on top.


I use Orgran egg replacer. I recommend getting a professional cake cutting saw. They're pretty inexpensive (about 5€ and they last for quite a decent period of time) and make cutting layer cakes such a breeze. Vegan cakes tend to be harder to cut, since there are no eggs to hold their structure, so if you're really into vegan baking, you should get one. Cream cheese brand is Tofutti.

I really hope you guys enjoy this!


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