Here’s a list of the sad things I learnt in my thermodynamics lessons today:
- The universe, just like my bedroom, has a tendency of becoming messier and messier everyday.
- The possibilities of it going back into a better-ordered state are quite the same possibilities I get up right now and do laundry (ie: absolutely none. Zero. Zilch. Cero. I won’t do it, neither will the universe.
That means, my dear friends, that come hell or high water, we’re totally not going to be able to travel to the past. Which is a major bummer because:
1) I won’t ever be able to travel to that glorious instant 2 weeks ago when I made this epic batch of brownies and basically ate them all by myself.
You mean I can get off my lazy bum and make another batch? Not a chance, amigo. I’m all cosy and comfy under a pile of blankets the size of a small country so it’s definitely not happening.
Maybe you can go bake a batch and send them over here? Not that you’ll be able to resist eating them once you get them of the oven, but a girl’s gotta try.
Now let’s move onto thing-which-makes-me-sad-we’re-not-travelling-to-the-past number two:
2) TUESDAY’S CONCERT (Parway Drive and Architects, to be exact. Where my metalcore vegan cookie lovers at?). It was such a rad one so you bet that had I the chance to get my hands on one of those cool time-travelling machines, I’d so go back to that night.
Mainly to experience such awesome gig again, but also to discover the little dipshit who stole my brother’s phone during one of the setlists and ruined the last songs for both.
And by “both” I mean “like 50 people”. Like, how come that many peeps got their phones stolen????? I can recall that at one point of the night, I would look besides me and there was this huge pit of people – not jumping, not slamdancing, but crawling in the floor trying to find their phones.
Luckily for me (and the potential theft), my chocolate cookies weren’t stolen from my brother’s backpack. Which kind of dum-dum theft doesn’t steal a packet of perfect chocolate cookies???? U ok theft????? Better for you since rivers of blood would have ran otherwise.
Agressive? ME? Nah, just hand me the cookies and no one gets hurt.
And also please please please with a cherry on top: defeat the laws of thermodynamics and get me to the past so I can decide to wear more clothes to the concert.
A tee + a light jacket while you queue for hours in cold, rainy, wintery Madrid? That idea is just as good as trying to steal a cookie from me.
So naturally, I went down with the nastiest cold ever. I’m like cold all the time, had to take my septum piercing off from all the sneezing and the worst part is that – hang on:
I CAN’T TASTE MY FOOD.
Like, I could go eat a cookie right now and I wouldn’t be able to tell if it’s a sweet and delicious round of chocolate chippy heaven or a piece of cardboard.
I would feel NOTHING were I to try and drink my bottle of sriracha.
It’s that bad.
So, let me live vicariously through you this time, will you? You make the brownies: whisk, whisk, pour and bake. Top with all the pretty stuff you have on hand. Not a cut-out of Jon Snow’s face. Very pretty, yes. Just don’t put it in your brownies mmmkay?
Pom seeds are nice and so are chopped hazelnuts. Plus you can never ever ever go wrong with extra chocolate on top, so go for it. Pour that stuff like it’s going out of fashion!
Another cup, another bowl. Here goes the last chocolate bar in my house!
((((And that kids, is the story of how I made the local supermarket run out of dark chocolate bars and my brother end up with no afternoon snack. Again, I think we’re all discovering today waht a poor excuse of an human being I am when the food runs out))).
Anyhoo! I forgot to mention that thick and luscious salted caramel almond butter chocolate frosting. Which is SO dumb because how could I ever forget that gloriously smooth, velvety cream sent from heaven?
I’m telling you, this cold is making me all foolish.
Make yourselves a favour and do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget about this frosting. I mean, the brownies are already yummy all dense (we’re talking the good kind of dense here, not the one in which your baked good could pass as throwing weapons!), fudgy and bursting with chocolate flavour. So, so delish.
But when that frosting joins the party? Such beautiful, wonderful things happen. One being me falling in love with a baked good. Perfection exist and it’s called Salted Caramel Almond Butter Frosted Brownie. Oh what a time to be alive!
And the best part? You can make these in a blender, with almost no hassle and little to none dishes to wash! Win win! Just throw all those ingredients in there, pulse and you’ve got yourself a very yummy batter which you can totally eat by the spoonful since there are no raw eggs involved.
The frosting is just as easy to make too! You’ll just need a couple more of ingredients, a blender and some of this very delicious salted caramel hot chocolate powder by the awesome mastermind behind Damn Sugar. All vegan, gluten and refined sugar free but oh so yum! If you’re a fan of healthified treats or simply plain ol’ hot choccies, I recommend you take a look at their website and get yourself some of their powders. Worldwide shipping is available too!
Oh, and let me remind you that I’m giving away 2 of their sachets on my Instagram account. Click here to find out how to win some!
And now, make the darn brownies and enjoy them for me, will you? I cannot savour a thing, remember?
*Cries herself to sleep. Except for the fact that sleeping is difficult because of the cold ahem*
I’ll spare you the winning and leave now. JUST MAKE THE BROWNIES PLEASE. And send them to me.
- 140 grams almond butter
- 200 grams pitted dates (20-21 dates)
- 50 grams coconut oil
- 190 grams almond milk
- 40 grams cacao powder
- 150 grams spelt flour
- 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
- 4-5 vanilla stevia drops
- 1/2 tsp. baking powder
- a pinch of salt
- 80 grams melted coconut oil
- 120 grams pitted dates (12 dates)
- 3 tbsp. Damn Sugar salted caramel hot chocolate powder
- 3-4 tbsp. almond milk
- Pom seeds, chopped nuts, chocolate...
- Melt the coconut oil.
- Add all the ingredients to a food proccesor and blend until smooth.
- Pour batter in a brownie pan lined with parchment paper.
- Bake at 180ºC (375F) for 30-35 minutes.
- Blend together all the ingredients.
- Add more milk if you want a thinner frosting, and more powder if you want a thicker frosting.
- Top the brownies with it or eat by the spoon!
- If you're using dates which aren't too soft, soak them in water for 20 minutes before using.
- If you don't have any Damn Sugar powder on hand, you can use a mix of cacao and coconut sugar instead but I highly recommend you get the real deal!