“How to lose your life in 2 days”, a book by Consuelo Morcillo.
Step number one: get addicted to a new TV show. Not that you actually mean it, you know. It’ll simply happen. One day you’re lying in bed, too exhausted to go on doing maths revision, wanting to clear your mind of all those numbers, limits, functions, equations and a gazillion more of things that shouldn’t be allowed on this planet and… it’s there.
More like Net-Ruinyourlife-Flix but you guys get me.
So you inocently browse through all those series, looking for a chapter of something which will help you disconnect from your textbooks.
Note that I said “a” chapter. Definitely not twenty-two.
Then, boom like that, it happened. I found myself (yet again) prisoner of another TV show. One chapter became two, which then became seven and then twenty-two and thanks heavens that Jane the Virgin’s season one is only (only) twenty-two chapters long because I wouldn’t be here otherwise.
Add like a semester’s worth of maths exercises to the mix and you get a very, very busy 19-year-old who hasn’t left her room in over two days since her life’s been a mixture of homework and binge-watching.
And there’s a 101% chance that she’s lived on PB&J sandwiches only, longing to eat pans and pans full of hazelnut sesame oat bars.
Also on the list of very very very true things: I have a very Jane the Virgin-y name. Darn, I could totally play an extra or something. As long as they make me grilled cheeses**
** Vegan grilled cheeses that is.
Now, let’s move onto step número dos: sign up for a degree in something involving very advanced, killer maths. Boom, that’s it. You’re gone, dead, lifeless, liquidated, perished and a million more of synonyms I found in Thesaurus.
I told you not to join that degree. Do not choose the maths lyf. It’s either you dying or you dying. Can we all start a petition to abolish maths or something?
See, in my world, the only thing I use maths for is to calculate how much of each ingredient I’ll need to make 32874837488 batches of these hazelnut sesame oat bars.
Plot twist: I’m the person your maths books told you about.
If Consuelo has 32874837488 oat bars and her friend ask her for 34, how many bars does Consuelo have left?
The answer is simple: 32874837488 bars and a corpse, ’cause Consuelo doesn’t like to share.
Nah, just kidding. These bars are so good you’ll totally want to share them to show the world how delicious a simple breakfast bar can be. I know they look deceptively healthy (we’re talking the “is this food or is this cardboard masqueraded as such” kind), but trust me when I say that these bars are worth fighting for.
Dense (we’re talking the good kind of dense here, not the one when you mean “bricks” instead), sweet and aromatic thanks to those hazelnuts and sesame seeds. Aaaaaand mixed spice aka my one true love. Slightly spicy, sweet and zingy. Man, I looooove mixed spice.
And don’t get me started on that topping. More crunchy hazelnuts, coconut sugar, banana coins, and toasty sesame seeds? How can that not be a winner combo? Exactly, it can’t.
Pour a glass of cold hazelnut milk on top and you’ve got yourself a very tasty breakfast for these cold winter mornings. Or anytime, really.
Everyday is a good day for a hazelnut sesame oat bar if you ask me.
- 200 grams rolled oats
- 180 grams hazelnut pulp
- 60 grams tahini
- 100 grams coconut sugar
- 1/2 tbsp. mixed spice
- 2 tsp. chia seeds
- 1/4 tsp. baking powder
- 140 grams hazelnut milk
- 2 tsp. vinegar
- 3 tbsp. tahini
- 1 tbsp. hazelnut milk
- 2 tbsp. coconut sugar
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- sliced banana, coconut sugar, crushed hazelnuts, toasted sesame seeds, tahini sauce...
- To make the bars, whisk together oats, baking powder, mixed spice and coconut sugar.
- Add in the milk, pulp, vinegar and tahini and stir to combine.
- Grease a baking pan with oil and add some extra sugar to make sure the bars doesn't stick.
- Bake in a preheated oven at 180ºC (375F) for 30-35 minutes or until bars look golden.
- Top with banana, sugar and the like and enjoy!
- Warm all the ingredients and whisk to combine.
- These bars keep well up to 7 days in the fridge. They can be frozen and microwaved when you want to eat them.